Regrets..

I have always told myself that I want to live my life with no regrets, but sometimes that's not possible. I have many regrets about our time in Zambia, but one in particular stands out in my mind.

We had just moved to the "bush" and of course we were the talk of the town. We couldn't communicate very well yet, and people would walk by, stop, and just stare and talk among themselves. It was a very odd feeling that I hated!! I used to mumble to Blu, "I wish they would just stop staring at me!!"

One day, a few ladies walked across our "property" with huge baskets on their head. They greeted me and we exchanged the small talk that I knew in the language. Then, they told me that they were going to the river for the day to fish! They invited me along. In a moment of panic, I told them no. Thoughts ran through my head--what if they just laugh at me all day? What if a Zambian man gets me? What if they don't bring me back here and I get lost? What if there are hippos in the river? (I seriously thought this..I am TERRIFIED of hippos!)

So, the ladies kept walking, and I remained in my kitchen hut, sitting alone, wondering what purpose God had in bringing me to the bush. My "purpose" had just walked by. If I could do it all over again, I hope and pray that I would have invited myself along before they could even ask. I would jump up, grab a bottle of water and my chitengi (long skirt wrap) and yell at Blu to come look for me if I wasn't back by dark.

Maybe one day God will give me another chance.. :)