Debt & Darkness

Last week was a REALLY hard week. Actually, just last weekend. Actually, just Friday.  It was one of those days, one of those times, where life in America seems like it would be so much easier – where ministry here feels never-ending from 5:30 in the morning until 8:30 at night – when I just want rest. If a plane had landed at New Day last weekend, I just might have gotten on! On Saturday morning, I got up and started quoting James. I didn’t want to quote it, but I did. And God begin to speak to my heart. He revealed to me that I think that He owes me something because I live in Zambia as a missionary. What do I think He owes me? Everything in my life should go well. I should have relatively easy days where things go as planned. Sure, there should be trials, so that my faith can grow, but seriously…no more break-downs. No more theft. Don’t you owe me at least that, God? Oh my…it looks so silly in print. Yet that is what God revealed to me. And I immediately knew this – if every day for the rest of my life was as terrible as Field Trip Friday, He saved me. He owes me nothing – I owe Him everything.

God has reminded me lately of the darkness that surrounds us. When the theft happened last weekend, Blu gathered the men who were working on the property to discuss what had happened and try to find out who did it. The mens’ solution was this: “If you give us each 10 kwacha, we can bring the witch doctor here right now. He can look at us, and he can tell you who did it. We know you don’t allow witch doctors on your property, but this time you should.” Oh, the darkness. Prince lost his father, his mother, and everything he knows, and his family attributes it to witchcraft. Such darkness. We attended the funeral of my friend’s father yesterday. They lowered the coffin into the ground, and the men took turns shoveling dirt onto the grave, but not before they buried the mans’ possessions with him. He might need them in his next life. Darkness. I owe Him everything, a debt I can never repay. But one thing I can do is consider it joy when I face trials of many kinds, praise Him through my circumstances, and share His light in this place I call home.