The "Goodbye" Blog

It is Christmas night, 2017. I’m not sure when I will post this blog, but I wanted to get down the thoughts that have been swirling in my head this furlough. People keep asking if we are ready to go back to New Day (at this point, we are 3 days from leaving), and I am hesitant. It’s not the heat, the exhaustion, the hard work, or the frustrations that await that make me hesitate. It’s the fact that we are going back knowing that this is the last chapter for us in New Day’s story.
In January of 2017, we began to sense that it was time - that God was calling us to step out of leadership at New Day. My first thought was, “How can we leave? How can we walk away from a ministry that we have poured blood, sweat, and many tears into? How can we let it go?" Yet, the more overwhelming question facing both of us at that point was, “How can we stay?”
We committed to pray daily and fast weekly for the entire year of 2017 for our future. Our biggest fear in life is doing something that will not bring honor and glory to God, or being disobedient to what He is calling us to do. But we knew that if He was truly calling us to leave, He would confirm it. And wow, how He has confirmed it. I could share my fleeces that I put out to God, and how He answered each one overwhelmingly, and how He is still confirming this calling, but some parts of this journey are just for us. But here we are, December 25, 2017, knowing that God has confirmed without a doubt that this will be our last term in Zambia.
We realize that many will assume that we had an amazing furlough, we got a taste of “American life”, we are burned out, we have conflict we can’t resolve, or we are throwing in the towel. Though there may be some truth to some of those, none are completely true. If God wanted us to stay at New Day for the next 30 years, we would, without hesitation. But we want our life to be about where we can bring the most honor and glory to God. And we know, at this point, that it is no longer in Zambia.
The next months will be difficult for our family. There will be goodbyes I can’t begin to think about, the packing and selling of almost everything we own, and the leaving behind of a life that we have created together in Africa. But a missionary couple gave me advice I am holding on to: Go with joy. Leaving New Day does not have to be an emotional tragedy for our family, for the New Day kids, or for anyone else. We can choose to go out rejoicing. Rejoicing that God planted His vision in our hearts. Rejoicing that for 9 years, He gave us the strength to share Him with others. Rejoicing that 37 children’s lives are forever changed by Christ. It doesn’t have to be devastating. We can choose joy.
We know that many of you are very invested in New Day and will express concern for the future. Of course, we have a direction we would like to see New Day go, but we are not in control of New Day. New Day has been God’s from the very beginning - not Blu’s and not mine. We are leaving New Day in His hands and trust that He who began a good work at New Day Orphanage in Mapanza, Zambia will complete it.
I am forever grateful to those who walked beside me in 2017 in deep prayer for our future. We ask now that you pray that we will finish our race strong, go out with joy, and most importantly, that Jesus will shine through us during the remainder of our time in Zambia.
Blessings, Darbi, Blu, Caedmon, Cambree, & Cason
Sidenote: It is March 8, 2017, and we shared with our staff and kids today. Sharing with the staff was brutal, as Blu shared stories about our first year at New Day (a time he, Hildah, and Mulenga all pushed a generator up onto a truck when there was no power, driving out onto the land for the first time, etc...) With the kids however, we kept it lighthearted, and something they said made my heart leap. When Blu told them we were going, he asked them, "Do you know who is going to be staying here?" Instead of the answers you would think they would give (Wes & Laurie, houseparents, teachers..) they instead started yelling out each other's names. "Sibasiso!" "David!" "Kefbert!" My heart melted. They are a bond of 37 kids that will never be broken, and we are so blessed that God allowed us to be apart of bringing them together as one family.